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Only In Portugal
Only In Portugal
#onlyinportugal
Collect Kafka-esque stories of Portugal's dysfunctioning
arrive Lisbon Airport and non-EU arrivals is hours wait, while EU arrivals is a highly retarded 20x zigzag line 
#onlyinportugal
see gf try order beer tap for birthday party and find a Portuguese supplier but he only rents out the beer tap without beer, but his price is per person who drinks beer at the party (???) but 1) we don't know who drinks beer, 2) that'd make sense if he supplied the beer but he doesn't just the tap, so now he will send us an quote somewhere next week 😂 #onlyinportugal
see gf order glass mirror and the FedEx Portugal delivery driver threw it over the fence #onlyinportugal
see Portuguese gardener make 3d design of garden with plants we approve 6mo ago, but now she bought completely different plants and didn't follow her own specifications #onlyinportugal
see table arrived broken then gf sent back for replacement and then the replacement arrived broken too #onlyinportugal
see cleaner tell us our front door lock is rekt it won't open, just rotates forever, so we call Portuguese key guy to come install new one, it costs €200, okay, but then he installs the classic Portuguese lock which if there's a key inside the door won't let you open it from outside (absolute retardation) we had this in our old rental and got locked out #onlyinportugal
order $4000 matress from Italy and pay $400 shipping and the Portuguese company says they will deliver it at 9am, so we get our cleaner to be there at 9am but then they say they will come at afternoon instead, so they agree to message the cleaner 15min before arrival, but they never message so there was nobody there, then they put our $4000 matress outside in the rain and say they will not put it inside so our electricians who were luckily there helped to put it inside #onlyinportugal
order $4000 matress from Italy and pay $400 shipping and the Portuguese company delivers it and put it outside in the rain and says they will not put it inside so our electricians who were there helped to #onlyinportugal
book luxury limo driver in Portugal to airport but when we call him at 7am where he is he say is he still in his bed sleeping #onlyinportugal
get power outage in Portugal again and auto switch to backup batteries so don't notice it #onlyinportugal
try gf Lyca Mobile now and it works, she can call and be called and has Portuguese phone number with data #onlyinportugal
try Lyca Mobile Portugal to see if I can get a eSIM with voice and a Portuguese phone number #onlyinportugal
see guys from OLX come pick up glass from our bathroom we removed, we sent them precise measurements and it's on the listing obviously, so they arrive with their tiny car and of course the glass never ever fits in there, which makes me wonder does anyone in Portugal know the concept of a ruler #onlyinportugal
order groceries on Glovo then Moroccan guy waits in his car in front of our house for 15mins without ringing the door bell, then I go look and he's extremely agressive shouting and throws me the groceries, nice experience #onlyinportugal (depicted with Photo AI below)
open source my 💁♀️ Karen Bot to report problems in your city to local city council #onlyinportugal gist.github.com/levelsio/b446… x.com/levelsio/status/2009279…
