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Only In Portugal
Only In Portugal
#onlyinportugal
Collect Kafka-esque stories of Portugal's dysfunctioning
see cleaner tell us our front door lock is rekt it won't open, just rotates forever, so we call Portuguese key guy to come install new one, it costs €200, okay, but then he installs the classic Portuguese lock which if there's a key inside the door won't let you open it from outside (absolute retardation) we had this in our old rental and got locked out 
#onlyinportugal
order $4000 matress from Italy and pay $400 shipping and the Portuguese company says they will deliver it at 9am, so we get our cleaner to be there at 9am but then they say they will come at afternoon instead, so they agree to message the cleaner 15min before arrival, but they never message so there was nobody there, then they put our $4000 matress outside in the rain and say they will not put it inside so our electricians who were luckily there helped to put it inside #onlyinportugal
order $4000 matress from Italy and pay $400 shipping and the Portuguese company delivers it and put it outside in the rain and says they will not put it inside so our electricians who were there helped to #onlyinportugal
book luxury limo driver in Portugal to airport but when we call him at 7am where he is he say is he still in his bed sleeping #onlyinportugal
get power outage in Portugal again and auto switch to backup batteries so don't notice it #onlyinportugal
try gf Lyca Mobile now and it works, she can call and be called and has Portuguese phone number with data #onlyinportugal
try Lyca Mobile Portugal to see if I can get a eSIM with voice and a Portuguese phone number #onlyinportugal
see guys from OLX come pick up glass from our bathroom we removed, we sent them precise measurements and it's on the listing obviously, so they arrive with their tiny car and of course the glass never ever fits in there, which makes me wonder does anyone in Portugal know the concept of a ruler #onlyinportugal
order groceries on Glovo then Moroccan guy waits in his car in front of our house for 15mins without ringing the door bell, then I go look and he's extremely agressive shouting and throws me the groceries, nice experience #onlyinportugal (depicted with Photo AI below)
open source my 💁♀️ Karen Bot to report problems in your city to local city council #onlyinportugal gist.github.com/levelsio/b446… x.com/levelsio/status/2009279…
make local city council complain robot with Claude Code, it lets you select the place on the map, add a photo, then it writes a letter in Portuguese and shows you in English too, then you can send it #onlyinportugal
build a robot to auto complain to local Portuguese city hall about problems like 1) holes in the road, 2) road mirrors missing, 3) garbage bins being on fire in the neighborhood #onlyinportugal
go to Vodafone store in beach town with gf to get her eSIM but they cannot do it now because the system is down so she has to come back in a few hours and maybe they can do it #onlyinportugal
go ATM to get cash because Portuguese driving school won't accept card probably because they don't wanna pay tax, and at the ATM a Brazilian woman starts randomly complaining to me about how nothing in Portugal functions, she's been waiting for years for her citizenship, her house electricity is improperly installed and she is stressed #onlyinportugal
try call Vodafone number for gf that can only be called with Portuguese number so she use Brazilian cleaner phone but the robot doesn't let you enter the decimal part of the phone balance which is required to validate it is you (???) so it hangs up and you cannot call again so need to go back to Vodafone office in Lisbon #onlyinportugal
