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Only In Portugal
Only In Portugal
#onlyinportugal
Collect Kafka-esque stories of Portugal's dysfunctioning
break electric blinds a month ago because they hit chair when going down, so ask company to install new ones with sensors so they stop when they hit something (instead of self destructing), after a month they finally come to fix it, and they install 2 new blinds with sensor but for the 3rd big window where the blinds actually hit the chair they decided to install again the same one without sensor because they thought it'd be too expensive for a big window (?????) while we explicitly asked all 3 windows, especially the one that actually broke because of the chair 😂 you can only conclude it's a low IQ culture of poverty and permafailure 
#onlyinportugal
board TAP business class but they put me and gf in random seats far away from each other and we can't move, then a friendly American offer to change his seat with us so we can sit together. The Portuguese fucks you and the American saves you. A classic story. #onlyinportugal
order windscreen wiper fluid for Tesla and it arrives in broken box all wet so I reject it #onlyinportugal
take Portuguese Uber but he forgot to charge his car so it's 18% so I say in Portuguese "are you sure it's enough to drive us home" he answer "com certeza" and now his battery is at 2% and we still on highway 😂😂😂 #onlyinportugal
see Lisbon Airport staff destroy gf's Rimowa (a shit brand to be fair) but still impressive how much they fucked it up 😂 #onlyinportugal
order brunch and fresh croissant and in Denmark often you pay immediately with card, but the fresh croissant is out of stock suddenly, so the waiter just refund it to my card immediately, one tap, so efficient, this would be impossible in Portugal and they'd blame you for croissant being out of stock #onlyinportugal
call 112 yesterday cause one Russian guy in Lisbon parking lot beating up other Russian guy who is begging 🙏 not to get rekt while his Russian gf screaming, so we call 112, they hang up twice when I speak English, then third time we speak Portuguese and they take 6 minutes to find the place where it happens (just use Google Maps) and of course no police came #onlyinportugal
see local Portuguese council put city signs like Madrid and London but they all point the same direction (the avg national IQ is 90 here) 😂 #onlyinportugal
try reduce onslaught of 15 different delivery companies per day delivering packages and ringing the doorbell by telling them to just put them inside #onlyinportugal
see gf try get AEG fridge repaired cause noisy af (I am of the opinion AEG/Electrolux is a bottom-tier shit brand and we should just replace it with Miele), anyway she schedules on April 30 a mechanic to come to fix it today May 5 with AEG, of course today no mechanic shows up, "You will be contacted soon" and nobody replies on email or picks up the phone #onlyinportugal
post new #onlyinportugal story about AC guy flooding breaker box for EUR 900 and then giving us a EUR 300 discount
